My Perfect Graduation (A Grandchild’s Wish)

My perfection graduation
Is for you to be there
To witness my victory
To be the one cheering
To feel proud of my achievement

But you wouldn’t be there
You went to heaven to God
You put up a fight
But He was almightier
You said your goodbye
Silently and peacefully

My perfect graduation
Ruined by one midnight
You would never return to me
I lost one chance to prove to you
That I am the best grandchild you have

Why do you have to leave so soon?
I wasn’t done with you
I had a perfect dream arranged
Your departure alters everything
The future I dreamt of was gone

The perfect graduation
The perfect plan
The perfect future
Lost with you
Gone with you
Died with you

But I still have you close to my heart
And I’m living today for you granny…

The Page

You gave me a book of life,
On one page there were full of tales,
Tales of a wonderful journey,
Of great happiness,
And of painstaking sorrow.

You lead me into that page,
You told me you'll be there with me,
To explore many more other pages,
You gave me strength to go on,
You kept me going.

When you left, i kept going,
When you decided to never come back,
I tried to move on to a new page,
But i kept going back to the previous page,
The page where you promised me wonders,
The page where you'd keep me company.

Now i'm still reading that page,
Going through every single moment alone,
Laughing at Jim alone,
Crying for Sara alone,
Crying for myself alone.

My Diary of the Agonized Moment

I regret knowing a guy by the name of Matthiu
He hates me and why I don’t have a clue

I should have walked up to Jas and say ‘You’re the best’
But I know it would all end up a mess

I could have been a better chick in school
But I blew everything coz I don’t act cool

Devil had been chasing me up and down
And every time it got to me, I lost count

I should have worked harder for my papers
At least I won’t have to feel so useless

I should have cried louder when she died
It could have helped my feelings like tonight

When another died, I crumbled like the tower
These tears will not go away in an hour

James thinks that my life is brilliant
I couldn’t have figured that out in a million

I don’t feel beautiful yesterday, today and tomorrow
These puts me through more pain and sorrow

I can’t believe my granny’s really gone
The agony’s too much to let bygones be bygones

I don’t have plans for this 21st century
But I already know my priority

There wouldn’t be an angel coz I never prayed hard enough
I don’t need one too coz Kiz makes me laugh

But my worst agony is to have falling for you
You who had taken my heart and crushed it
Probably that is why I never felt beautiful…

Shattered Selena

She calls home from a distance
Just to find out her daddy’s drunk
Her mommy doesn’t sound good
Her lil sister is calling her name out
She cries and she cries…

But baby don’t you worry
My shattered Selena
You’re growing stronger than you ever imagined
You’re picking up the pace to make a living
I have my eyes on you

She walked along the empty street
Just to find a canister with left overs
She felt the hunger of her own stomach
But she gave it to the folk across the street
She cries and she cries…

And when she reached her doorstep
There standing with joy was her lil sister
She held her up like an angel filtered with pride
Her mommy watching from the kitchen

She is my baby, my baby Selena
She is the angel of a shattered, broken home
I am bleeding but she is my tourniquet
You’ve saved me since the day you were born

Dear Brother

Dear brother,
What happened between us?
What made you hate me a great deal?
What sort of pleasure are you getting from this?

Dear brother,
Do I exist in your journal?
Do I get a second of your time?
Or do you long to deport me from your ship?

Dear brother,
Am I that unimportant?
Am I the shit you had to deal with all your life?
Or am I already buried six feet under your feet?

Dear brother,
Do you know what it means to call you ‘dear’?
It means I muse over the good old times

The times when you were there for me
When you took me into your arms
And when you lift me up high

The times when there were no hatred
When there was only room for love
And when the drizzle shines bizarrely

Dear brother,
I wish I never had to say this
But you make me dig this grave
Not to bury myself though
It’s you I am burying…

Colors of a Bullet

Feeling grey
Feeling blue
Feeling white
I’m feeling all the colors tonight

Pretty damn tired
Of you whining
Of you yelling
I just wanna feel good tonight

Memory of you
Gone for the night
It’ll haunt again
When dawn comes replacing my night

This is now
That was then
I’m over
Over you and all of your Barbie dolls

So go on
Load a bullet
Pull the trigger
Judge yourself and do the honor

And that honor would be my pleasure…

A Vatican Dream

Standing on a mount
High above touching the sky
The cold numbs my mind
Fixing the pain and agony
This is my Vatican dream

Bathing in the sea
Surfing on the tidal waves
Stabbed me like a blade
Please bleed me to my deathbed
This is my Vatican dream

Looking down the ravine
Fear arises with no warnin’
That fear engulfs my angst
Away from dark memories
This is my Vatican dream

But home where I am
Laying down puzzles and riddles
What will happen to me tomorrow?
What is happening to me today?
Unlike my Vatican dream

My lung is punctured
By the wound of your dying words
You’re not the only one dead
You took me with you
On the day you promised me
A sweet Vatican dream